FamilyInShape

Back from Guantanamo...where's my motivation?

We are back from the island. WOW the last three years were the most memorable, active, engaging, and best years in our military career. They really were.

Have you ever been someplace you couldn't get enough of, but at the same time, you couldn't wait to leave?

That's sort of how GTMO was for us.  We moved to Cuba in the fall of 2009 not knowing at all what to expect, except that it was going to be different than any other duty station.  I could not find any information online about what it was like to live there, which was frustrating as we were moving with kids and I really needed to know more, but that wasn't the case. Just about anything out there concerning Guantanamo Bay relates only to the Detainee Camps. That is not what it's all about. But I'm not going to try and cover it all in my first post back on this site.  If you really want to learn more, read my blog Our Life In Guantanamo Bay and start at the beginning. That's the first thing I did when we arrived. I created a blog to help others learn about life in GTMO. The blog was a huge success and I met many wonderful people who moved to Cuba knowing a little more than we did.

While living in GTMO we were engaged in so many activities that it was hard not to stay in shape. You have to really want to not do anything because there was something for everyone, every age, every level.  Before leaving the states I was teaching fitness and trying out a few new things. I felt so accomplished.

Then I went to Cuba and started teaching Bootcamp, SPIN, Pilates.  OK well I was doing that before.  But then I met some friends and started running again. Both of them accoplished marathon runners and me. NOT good.  But they didn't give up on me and they "allowed" me to walk when I needed to.  I didn't like slowing them down so I worked hard to run through those hills but they pulled me back and said "just walk the hills, your run time will be about the same, you'll do great."  Then I started doing 5Ks, 10Ks, 1/2 marathon and before long I realized I was no longer walking those hills.

There were no specific expectation from anyone, just me not willing to be the slow one and me really enjoying the time spent with my friends during those runs.  I was most proud when I started running alone or with my dog and still managed to feel great and exceed my own limits.

Now I'm back in the states and I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone out running.  I'm not happy about that because now I'm not teaching, I'm not diving, not Kayaking or playing Soccer, I'm really not doing anything that even comes close to my level of activity when we were still in Cuba.  More than anything, I miss the natural energy and desire I had for running.  The temperature and environment are definitely better here so I really have no excuse. Except that I'm stressed. This has been the hardest move for us and while I realize that running will help manage stress, it is that stress that is eating up my motivation to run.

I know what I need to do. I know running will help me manage stress. I know once I'm out there I will be happy, I will enjoy it and I will get my mojo back.  But that's just it. Everyday I get up early because I'm going to run and everyday I end up not running because I'm tired, didn't sleep well, I feel achy.  I have never whined so much.

I decided to write about my lack of motivation because maybe I need a little external push. If I see it in writing I'll realize how ridiculous my excuses are. I'm taking action. I have to.

1. I will find a 5K and sign up.

2. I will set up some goals for the week--write them down and tell my family. I need to be accountable to someone other than me.

3. I will keep a log of what I eat on MyFitnessPal.com and Set up some running goals on Nike+ Running.

4. I will be back!!!

I'm fighting my way back and I know it will be worth it. 

Have you fallen off your fitness wagon? What are you doing to get it back?

Stay Well,

Terie

Could be overwhelming - refocus

Photo by me... out of focus flowers

Out of time. Out of energy. TIME TO REFOCUS!

The Kids. My School. My Job. The Big Move to Cuba! Our House! It's a lot to think about. It's a lot to plan without loosing my mind.

We have a big move coming up in about six weeks and I wish I could say that I can just sit here and wait until the day comes.  NOT SO! A lot has to be done in between and with hubby already gone, it's all on me, again!! (not feeling bitter at all).  Part of my service to our country, to make sure his family is moved smoothly from the comfort of our home to a foreign country, as long as he is not stressed and can do his job well, that's all that matters.  (If you feel a little sarcasm in my *voice* you got it right).  Truly, I'm sure he would rather be here helping us get ready but he's not so I must adapt, right?!

Over the next few weeks I have to de-crap my closets.  Isn't it amazing how much stuff we accumulate over the years.  We have never been stationed in one place more than two years, needless to say, the 'toss-keep-donate' process happens easily and with much, much less hassle. This time we were blessed and stayed here four years -- a long stretch for us.  However, I have more stuff to 'store-toss-donate-keep' because during out stay we added a baby and sent a child into the grown up world.  He had a lot of stuff crap in his room.  Amazing how much I had to throw away, mostly school stuff.

As I was reorganizing the closets and going through our clothes I realized that half of our clothes would be unsuitable for our new home..ya know... winter clothes in a tropical country, probably a good idea to let these sit in storage until we return to a place with more than one season.  Then there are the toys, kids clothes, shoes, old coats, baby items...wow.  By the way, if you hate to throw out the stuff you don't use you have a few options.  One, of course is your local thrift store.  Another option is www.freecycle.org.  I offered several items, left them on my driveway and later whomever wanted them came over and picked them up. How cool is that.  Recycling is the way to go.  I know another option is having a yard sale but to be honest, I hate hosting yard sales, I don't have the patience, it's a lot of work so if I have something worth selling I go for Craig's list, where I sold my Van by the way or eBay.

So finding the time and energy to clean up the house and get it ready for the packers, write my papers for school, get the kids where they need to be on time and still manage to laugh has been a bit of a challenge these days.

Well, a few things help me stay focused regardless of how tired I am or what chores need to get done:

I am keeping my date at the gym constant - it is my place to find sanity and the one thing I can control. I have also added a 2 -3 mile walk at night with one of my neighbors, Maria.  We have a chance to talk without kid interruptions and I have a chance to clear my head.

I am going to bed at a reasonable time so that I can be well rested to take on the next day.  It's not all that uncommon for me to stay up late and get up super early just so I can catch up, but in the end, I end up so tired that I get less done.  So I'm working on 7 hours of sleep being my norm, not four or five.

I am being careful about what I eat and when because I already know that when I'm stressed I could easily breakdown the walls and go for whatever I'm craving - that could be really ugly.  So I just don't buy the stuff I know I'll crave and stick with my healthy foods.  It's easier to avoid my potential stress related train wreck with food.

Last, but not least, keeping up with my to-do list and calendar.  They are my compass right now.  I like the idea that I don't have to store anything in my head or try to remember if or when I did something. Just write it down and set a little electronic reminder, done!!

I'm committed to stay motivated and treat myself well because if my (mental, physical, spiritual) health fails I can't take care of my precious little people.

Stay Well,

Is it stress or something else?

Image by Mike Moore

Have you ever felt fatigued without doing much, sweaty for no reason, mouth dries up; ever get chest pains, indigestion, peeing like crazy without drinking much; you feel like screaming at inanimate objects like the phone, the remote, the computer?  You may be experiencing the physiological effects of stress. 

Sometimes we don't even realize that our body is reacting to stress.  Case in point.  I'm supposed to be moving this month year, well sometime in 2009.  The thing is we have been waiting for Military Orders since March, so the threat to move has been on the table but until we get orders is not a good idea to move forward with things like selling our house, selling a vehicle, taking the kids out of school and investigating the new location, particularly if you don't know where that might be.  We missed a huge window of opportunity to sell our house over the summer, waiting for orders, very frustrating.

Finally, at the end of July we get our orders.  My husband, Mike, has to report at the end of September, he wants his family with him.  OH OK honey that's sweet but it's just not possible.  Don't get me wrong, I want to move with him just as bad but there is the issue of selling the house, selling a vehicle, and getting us all ready for travel.  Why?  Because we are going over seas or over one sea anyway.  We have orders to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (aka GTMO pronounced 'git-mo'.)  You know, that long island located 90 miles off the coast of Florida.  No we're not going to be living among the prisoners, believe it or not, the U.S. has had possession of "GTMO" since 1903 and no they are not closing the base, just to clarify.

So anyway, moving to Cuba will be an adventure.  We have plans to go sailing, scuba diving, snorkeling, travel to neighboring islands, etc. While the base is restricted to travel to the rest of Cuba, we can go anywhere from there so that's a big plus.  The move or location is not the stressor, we are looking forward to a new start, even my moody 15 year old girl is ready to go, couldn't be easier. 

So what's the problem.  Well everything than can go wrong or be delayed HAS.  From getting new GI passports to failed contracts on the house to getting physicals and updated shots for everyone in the family.  UGH... I could scream sometimes.  But I don't.  I keep it all inside, I write, I talk to friends each time telling them how it will be fine, no big deal, I have to wait for an appointment and even though its not my fault they want us ready yesterday some government agencies just look at me like it's not their problem when I need to be ready.  OK.  So I just do what I'm told and what I can within my reach.  I say I'm relaxing and coping with stress just fine.

That is, until a few days ago when I honestly felt like I was having a heart attack...ok maybe not that drastic but I did not feel well at all.  The first thing that popped into my mind was my friend's words a year before "you know, once you turn 40 everything starts to breakdown."  Well great, I'm forty something I guess I'm due for a breakdown; but I just had a physical what is going on with me.  Why do I feel so yucky?

I hit the Internet, WebMD and other medical diagnosis sites trying to figure out what all this meant. 

Here are my symptoms:

Dry mouth, stomach discomfort, headache, tired all the time, nausea, lightheaded, and pain under my ribs that spread to the back.

When you punch that in to a diagnosis site you get this:

Diabetes, Angina, heart attack, Anemia, and a host of other issues.

You know what that did to me? Stressed me out even more.  To the point that I called my doctor to ask about my blood work because I just know something is wrong.  I grabbed the diabetes diagnosis and went with it at least until I heard back from someone.  Yes I self diagnosed, stupid me.  I wondered how I would handle this diagnosis.  Both my parents are type II diabetics.  But I was concerned because what more could I do? Well, I guess I could give up a lot of the foods I still enjoy.  Ouch.  OK it's doable. I can do this.

Do you see what happens when we self diagnose.  Soon I got my results - "you are perfectly healthy, all is well with your blood work."  So then what's going on here I asked.  After a few pertinent questions about my symptoms the Nurse Practitioner responded with "You are most likely experiencing heartburn, take some antacid and if it doesn't get better, give us a call."  Are you kidding me, I thought I was at death's door, heartburn?  YES the antacid helped and some well needed sleep did wonders for me.

So what happened?  While I was talking myself out of being or acting like a maniac due to stress, my body had other ideas.  Physiologically, I had the symptoms of stress and I was ignoring them.  I ignored my symptoms long enough to get sick and actually feel it.  I have been sleeping poorly and getting mild headaches for weeks now but I took whatever over the counter stuff I needed to keep me going.  While I wasn't having a heart attack, we should never ignore the potential signs because seemingly healthy people can have a heart attack and not even know it.  It isn't always heartburn or stress.

In my case, it was heartburn and anxiety all brought on by stress.  I feel much better, took on a few extra classes at the gym and worked off some aggression :-) I put the focus back on the things I can control like my fitness, nutrition, the kids education, and our move date.  We will follow dad later in the year - preferably stress free.

The moral of the story here is NEVER ignore the symptoms of stress. Learn to treat, manage and cope with the stressors in your life and take time to heal when you become sick or injured.  It is counterproductive to cover up the pain and keep going because you will likely get worse, not better. 

It is also unwise to self-diagnose using the internet.  While this is a good way to get information about specific diseases and symptoms, it is best to consult with a professional to get clear diagnosis and care.

Take a few minutes in the quiet early morning hours to reflect on the day, get yourself mentally prepared and focus on taking care of you so that you are healthy enough to take care of the ones you love.

Stay Well,

SpinDiva