Photo by SpinDiva "Sunset on the Sound, OBX 2009"
You ever find yourself surrounded by negative people?
At work.
At the grocery store.
At the gym.
Sometimes, even at home.
Yes. We all face them and sometimes we just follow suit and fall into that negative rut that plagues so many.
I'm a big believer in living as an optimist (with realism not to far behind). I have asked the pessimists in my life why they always thing the worst of things or the worst case scenario? They respond with "this way I'm prepared for the worst and if something good happens then I'll be surprised."
WOW. That response has stuck with me because it is amazing that anyone can think like that. I see their point though. They are trying to avoid feeling disappointed. But, what's wrong with a little disappointment? Aren't those the hurdles we must strive to jump every once in a while?
As an optimist I say everything will workout as it should or today is going to be a great day, regardless of how it started and it usually turns out that way. I find myself smiling more, getting less stressed over traffic issues, silly people, etc. However, when things don't workout, even after I've worked myself up to thinking they will, I use those moments as challenges to make things better.
There's a theory about stress first identified by Dr. Susan Kobasa (1979) called the Hardiness Theory of Stress. The theory has three basic principles: Commitment, Control and Challenge, also known as the three C's. Possessing the three C's makes one hardy.
One who is hardy will be committed to what they are doing, act as if they can control the outcome regardless of the changes, and use the change as a challenge to improve their life. Those people are considered hardy and have been known to #1 manage stress better then most, #2 avoid the health effects of stress, #3 live a happier life.
"When I go to bed at night I already know how my day is going to be the next day. However, I have been known to oversleep, forget to turn on the alarm, the kids sleep right through their alarm, and I forgot to pack lunches the night before, etc. OK so things have taken a turn and my plan to have a great day has been challenged. Am I hardy enough to deal with this mess?
I'd like to think I am, most of the time. I commit myself to what I know I can and must do NOW (get everyone up and ready to go). I control the outcome of this event (everyone will get to school, eventually- it's not the end of the world). I use the challenges and be better prepared next time (pack lunches the night before, go to bed at a reasonable time).
No screaming, no anger, no fights. Just taking the time to do what needs to be done because no matter what I do, I can't turn back time. I can only work towards making this day a great day, regardless of the setbacks.
A few quotes to get you thinking:
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” | |||||||||
~ Winston Churchill
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Hi Terie,
I tend to fall on the same side of the tree as you do - the sunny side! And there's one line that I think really sums it up, up above. It's not the end of the world. How true! And I know I slip up sometimes. In fact, I did earlier this morning. And guess what, the two minutes we would have had, wouldn't have made any difference at all in getting to our destination.
So - here's to seeing the sunshine in the world! And here's to facing the challenge we'll face, and moving on and learning from them!
So good to be here and read this today, Terie...
Posted by: Lance | September 20, 2009 at 15:39
Every waking day of our life is our best time. We choose how we respond in any situations. It's not easy to be positive in this negativity infested world. However, we can make each day a great day; no screaming, no anger, no fights: just as you have nicely pointed above. :-)
Posted by: Walter | September 21, 2009 at 20:57
Very nice advice, and well written. You are smart and I think I will follow you. Have a nice, and very positive, day!!
Posted by: LaWanda Eckert | September 28, 2009 at 13:59