FamilyInShape

He's leaving the nest

While I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that my first born is now an "adult" and on his way to college I have to say that my heart is aching.  I've been fine until now, or so I thought.  I tell myself I wont cry when I drive away because after all "he's hardly ever home" and sometimes "he gets on my nerves" but no.  That's not the case.  I am aching right now at the idea that I have to let him go.

My first born, Josh, is a musician.  I never knew, no one really knew this about him.  What we saw develop was a kid in love with words and their origin, in love with reading great books, solving interesting puzzles, and being good at whatever he did.  He was great in Math and he knew it so, of course, as he grew we (dad and I) figured he would follow dad and go into engineering, computers, maybe even teaching the subject.  But his love for literature used to make us think that maybe he would take that route, once he even started writing a book, quite good but something happened that really threw us for a loop.  He joined the school choir - easy class and everyone has to do it at some point or another. 

I remember teacher's used to tell me he had great form, he was very focused, he was good.  As a parent I thought "well thank you, that's my boy" as my heart filled with pride.  Then one day, a few grades later, he sang a solo.  He was the only boy in a choir group of 22 kids.  Apparently the other boys were not interested in being singled out.  He stuck with it and it paid off.  I was a nervous wreck so I set up the camera knowing I would miss something.  At this moment I had never heard him sing alone.  NEVER.  He started singing Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up" and I almost fainted.  I had no clue he could sing that well.

Still I never thought he would follow that field as a career.  In fact, he didn't think he was that good and said "Mom, it was just a song," relax.  OK whatever.  I know what I heard from a kid without professional training, but he was right.  After all, I am his mom and will be proud of everything and anything my kids do.  That was 8th grade.  In 9th grade he auditioned for the choir in his new school and his new Choir Director approached me and said "this child needs voice coaching, here, call this lady."  That's all he said. First I thought, "how much is this going to cost me?" Yes, as a parent of four kids I have to think about costs of things.  So I called the lady, Ms. Mary is her name.  She first gave me her resume and told me about the quality of people she trains and how she only selects kids with true talent.  She also mentioned that every kid she ever trained was able to get a scholarship if they applied themselves in every way.  She followed that with this, "however, I do not take Freshmen"  but that if I wanted she would allow him to audition just so he could see where he was and what he needed to do next.  So then I thought OK, I can do that. 

He auditioned.  She called me and said "how about he comes in every other Monday at 4:30 pm?" Excuse me?  What's going on? I though you didn't take Freshmen.  "I don't, but he's talented, he's going places and I want to be his coach."  OK.  Let's do it.  That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship and a bright future for my kid.  Fast forward 4 years during which time he was coached privately by Ms. Mary first twice a month then every week and sometimes twice a week; coached also by his Choir Director Mr. JD.  These four years he spent learning to play the piano, learning to read and write music, learning to conduct a choir and learning to sing in different languages, classical music, theater, Gospel, a capella, duets, participating in solo and choir competitions most of which he/they won something. 

All his teachers were a great influence in his life.  I thank them for seeing what we couldn't at home. His efforts and dedication to this field payed off and all those who told me he would go places were right.  He recently received several grants and scholarships which will pave the way to his future career as a Musician.  He will be attending Westminster Choir College at Rider University in New Jersey.  Here he will study Music Education and Vocal Performance.  Here he will continue to grow, mature and become exactly what he wants to become.

My heart aches and I can't wait to get past this week because I already know it will be hard to leave him.  I have three other kids to focus on, I have a big move coming up in 4 weeks, I have a lot going on right now.  I will let myself cry because there is nothing wrong with "feeling" and showing how I feel.  I am not speeding away from the parking lot, I am going to look back, I am going to be sad.  On the bright side, that sadness will be temporary because my sole purpose is ensure his happiness, safety, and well being.  I am very happy, excited, proud of his accomplishments so far.  So much more to come.

I will miss my Josh.

Sore Muscles...Ouch!

Photo Credit: shadowandsilhouette

(Crossposted at Blogher.com)

Who knew that after not exercising like I normally do I would be this sore coming back.  I mean OUCH!! I can hardly move.  OK well, I knew this would happen and it's not quite that bad but I am sore today, very much so.  I can feel every muscle I worked this week and to be honest, it's a good feeling, except for when I try to get up out of bed or off the couch, when I squat the pick up the toddler and when I pull open the fridge door... you get the idea, it hurts.

My muscles are sore because of all the vacationing I've been doing lately at home and away from home. My latest trip took us to the Outer Banks, North Carolina, where we walked on sand and land, climbed the Nags Head sand dunes, and battled the waves of the ocean.  Evidently, that was not nearly enough to give me a good workout, however, it was nice to have such an active vacation.  We had a great time!!

Back in the gym I started my week off with weight training, Turbo Kick Box, Spinning, Elliptical training, and more weight training.  Although my diet was not bad during vacation, it is definitely better now that I'm home.  I think my body is in shock from all the egg whites, salads, lean meats, fruits and vegetables I've been eating this week.

When muscles are sore it is important to remember that:  

#1 stretching, massage, hot baths will help you fell better but it isn't going to make the soreness go away completely, 

#2 drinking water is essential, 

#3 eating high protein foods is a requirement to help muscles grow stronger, and 

#4 take it easy, take time to recover, but don't stop exercising.

The last one here, #4 is the one that can make or break your fitness routine.  Many people prefer not to feel that pain and they either never increase the resistance or quit exercising all together. That's never a good idea because if you return to the gym you will be sore all over again.  However, keep in mind that the endorphins released during exercise relieve pain so instead of not doing anything, exercise and experience the benefits of endorphins.

Ideally, you want to take 24-36 hours off between sets.  If you work chest, biceps and shoulders on Monday, then wait until Wednesday or Thursday before working that same set of muscles.  It largely depends on how hard you work each set.  The soreness you feel is the pain of your muscles getting stronger.  Your muscles are just getting used to the new fitness routine. You want to work those muscles and push yourself harder each time you go back.   

In order for you to become stronger, faster, and improve endurance you have to exercise beyond what you normally do, you have to make the muscles burn during the workout. Just like in running, you can't run the same mile every day and expect to become a better runner. So you run faster and further and feel the burn. In weight training or muscle conditioning you feel the burn by lifting heavier weights. This burn is a sign that you are damaging your muscles (that doesn't sound appealing does it?)  But it is. Because muscles have the unique ability to recover and when they do they are stronger and that's what we're looking for.  The more lean muscle mass you develop, the higher your metabolism, the more fat and calories you burn-- again, who doesn't want that?

While I do feel very sore today, I am confident that my muscles are once again adjusting to my workout routine, I know that I am becoming stronger, improving my physique, lowering my BMI and speeding up my metabolism.  I will rest this weekend from any weight training and go back on Monday for more burn!

When your muscles start burning, push just a little harder.  When you are sore, rest, stay hydrated, eat well. Whatever you do, don't ever stop exercising!

Stay Well,

Kids do listen when we talk

(cross posted at Blogher.com)

Have you ever heard a toddler, your toddler, repeating a word you clearly should not have said during a moment of frustration?  Well, I have.  More times than I care to remember, I have wiggled my way out of a potential "bad" word in front of my kids.  I admit that dropping an object on my toe has caused me to say the "S" word outloud only to find out that my little man was not far behind all too ready to repeat that word clearly as if he had been saying it all along.  So sometimes Sh*t becomes shhugar and of course he doesn't bother with that one.  How do they know?  It's amazing.  

Aside from the occasional slip of the tounge, I mostly try to talk to my kids about the benefits of good nutrition, about reading the food labels and what those things mean, about wellness, fitness, sleeping, hygene and being happy.  These are the times when I want them to really listen to me and remember what I said.  I think most parents would agree that these little details are learned at home right along with the morals and values that will make them super fantastic human beings.  

I sometimes wonder if they hear what I say, if they care, if they even remember it later.  Sometimes I get a nod or an "I know mom" and sometimes I get a little undivided attention (such a thrill when that happens).  Still I don't know how much of what I say sticks and becomes the source for making decisions later.

Three things happened today which made me proud to have talked to the back of my kids' head because today they made me proud.

1.  My son has had acne, on and off or more on than off he would say, for several years now. As a teen  I remember being told to wash regularly, change my pillow case frequently, don't use the same face cloth twice and treat my condition with whatever stuff was given to me at the time.  It took me a while to realize or admit my parents were right.  So I passed along the same routine to my son and it took him a while as well but still I persisted and reminded him to follow the routine.  He finally found a product that works well with his schedule, his habits and his skin.  He said to me the other day when I complimented his skin that he followed my advise and was staying on top of his treatment.  It's obviously working.  His face looks awesome.  He was listening :-)

2.  My 15 y.o. girl talks about her "weight issue" which is really non-existent and what can she do for this, to tighten that or to shrink this, etc.  As a trainer I am inclined to break it down like I would a client but I have to remember that I have to live with this one and keeping the peace is pretty important.  She's a lot like me which means if I tell her what to do she'll likely do the opposite.  So I leave my little nutrtion articles laying around, I tell myself (really, I talk to myself) some new tips and nutrition facts I learned along the way.  When I do have her attention I give her little bits of information about portion control, exercise, what works best for the amount of time she is willing to dedicate to exercise etc.  Today, she was reading a magazine article which discussed the benefits of eating raw foods 70% of the time.  She was excited about this and asked if we could eat more raw foods.  Hmmm, funny, I've always had loads of raw foods available for my family.  Where has she been all these years?  Anyway, I said, sure.  We'll go grocery shopping for MORE fruits and vegetables and some healthier snacks.  She'll never admit it but ... She was listening :-)

3. Finally my 7 y.o. girl.  She's becoming such a great reader. Today we were walking around a store and she wanted a snack.  So I said go ahead, grab something you like.  She picks up a bag of chips and as we continued to walk she begins to read the food label out loud.  "Total Fat = 17 grams...mom this is kind of high, don't you think?" Oh, such a proud moment.  So I said, well what do you think?  She agreed.  She continued to read the label, now as she ate the chips.  She read all the way down to the vitamins and then she said, "wow, there aren't very many vitamins in this bag of chips huh?" Nope, not many at all.  Her response, "well I guess I'll have to jump on the WiiFit when we get home so I can work this off doing the hula hoop."  She was listening :-)

Kids listen. They learn even when we think they're not hearing us.  They hear us even when they roll their eyes. As frustrating as it might be at the time, talk to your kids about the benefits of self care, nutrition, exercise, sleep, etc. Because all these GOOD habits can only lead to living a healthier lifestyle by making smart choices.  And when they do decide to speak... shhhhh, just LISTEN :-)

Stay well,