(cross posted at BlogHer.com)
Anyone with a teenage daughter (or son) will or has already experienced the blues about body image. Do I look fat in this? or Am I fat? are just a few of the questions I have heard from my teen15 whom I'll call M&M because she's sweet with a split personality (I'm kidding...well, maybe not). Actually, that was a nick name we gave her way back in pre-school when she dressed up as a red M&M.
It is no secret that today's teens have more health problems related to obesity then they did when we were growing up. There's more junk food, less physical activity, and more false advertising about the way their bodies should look. When I was growing up (ok I'm dating myself, but I'm not alone here) we played outdoors all day long, on our bikes, with home-made sports equipment, roller skates....I remember we used to play baseball with a stick and some fruit that fell off a tree (or was that just me?). Back home (Dominican Republic) we had access to fallen fruits like oranges and lemons and the weather was always conducive to outdoor games. Yes, it was messy at times but it was fun and I remember that fun. Then when we moved to New Jersey things were the same..."get outside and play" my parents always said. It was great no matter the weather.
Today, kids seem to spend more time indoors playing video games and watching TV. My M&M loves the TV. I almost feel I should install an alarm system so I know when she turns it on. It's never good when the house is suddenly quiet and she's no where in sight.
Another problem I encountered is that teen girls cling on to every word you or anyone says and they analyze it to make it like it was about them. I am guilty of having said things like "I feel so fat today" (only once a month ) or my personal favorite, "do I look fat in these shoes?" That's just a joke to see if my husband is listening. I honestly don't have a negative body image nor do I feel I'm fat, although I do have a few "baby pounds" I want to loose (working on it). However, she overhears me saying anything related to my body and she will repeat it at a later date. Then there are those girls in the magazines or on TV.
I've learned to say lots of positive things about my body, even when I'm feeling a little bloated, and we've had many discussions about how those girls are made to look so "perfect" so I'm on the right track with this mini-battle.
I thought it would be easy to encourage her to participate more in sports, to go for walks with me, to go to the gym with me, etc. But then I remembered, I really don't know anything, her friends do. It's frustrating. Still, I realized that although she appeared to be ignoring me, she was actually listening. I walked into her room the other day and found a workout plan she had written out and stuck it on her mirror (I was so proud). I didn't want her to think I was snooping and I wasn't about to ruin what she was planning so I left.
Later that week she asked to go grocery shopping with me so that she could pick out foods that she likes that are also good for her. So I asked, how do you know what 's good for you? and she said, you ready for this? "Mom, you know, you do this all the time with your people at the gym, that's why I want to go with you so you can help me." Oh wow, I'm knowledgeable after all. She also asked her dad if she could go to the gym with him a few days a week, he picks her up after work 2 days a week.
So now my little M&M goes to the gym with dad 2 days a week and works on her strength and muscular endurance. She goes to the gym with me where we do a variety of classes which she finds "too hard" but somehow the class makes her feel good in the end.
She is eating much, much better. More fruit and still working on the vegetables, less bread, more yogurt, whole grain cereal and she does practice portion control most of the time. I'm very proud of all the changes she's made and the fact that she's trying harder to eat well, not for weight loss but because eating healthy is just good for you.
I'm glad we have come full circle and I'm excited to workout with her. She has seen the effects obesity can have on a young person and an adult and she is by no means obese or even overweight, however, being physically fit doesn't mean she has to loose weight, it just means her heart will be stronger, her body will be strong and better defined and she will feel better and happier and that is my goal!
My top 10 rules to help improve your teens fitness and nutrition habits:
- Talk to your kids about the benefits of the food they eat every day. (i.e. Have a cheese stick for a snack, it has calcium which is good for your bones, your hair, your teeth, etc.)
- Teach them to read the food label as soon as they can read. My six year-old, likes to tell me how much of everything is in food so she'll blurt out "Mom, this yogurt has 8 grams of protein, is that good?"
- Let them help with meal preparation and talk about the ingredients.
- Don't bother buying the junk food but do supply healthy snacks such as granola bars (chewy or crunchy), dried fruit, popcorn, fruit, peanut butter, etc.
- Teach them portion control. Chips with salsa and cheese, delicious mexican treat once in a while, but we don't have to finish a whole bag in one sitting. Cookies? have a couple not a dozen.
- Forget the sugary drinks (soda, "fruit" juice) - instead provide them with 100% juice, water, milk. Get some lemons and make lemonade, at least you wont have yellow #8 in your drink.
- Introduce vegetables at every meal. I will be first to admit that there are many vegetables I hated as a child and love today. Sometimes it just takes a little longer but we continue to introduce the ones they do like to eat along with some they don't.
- Lead by example. Don't expect your child to eat healthy or even be concerned about fitness and nutrition if you're not.
- Don't criticize a child with a poor self esteem about his/her body, instead, encourage physical activity and good eating habits by following #8.
- Finally, support your child every step of the way and be patient. Even when they roll their eyes to the back of the head, they're listening.
Now about that teen attitude...sorry, still working on that one :-)
Stay Well,

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