FamilyInShape

When it rains.... exercise!

I was watching an episode of Army Wives in which Joan (a high ranking officer) is being deployed to Iraq and the day she leaves her daughter gets sick and daddy (Army husband) has to take her to the hospital in a hurry with 105 degree temperature.  What the heck!!??  She later calls to see how things are and he lies and tells her everything is great, baby is keeping me busy, we miss you, don't worry about us...etc.  Well, that's not all that uncommon.  It really is pointless to complain to them about our problems at home when they have much more to worry about and there's nothing they can do to help those left behind.

I'm not an Army Wife, I'm a Navy wife, but what we go through is pretty much the same.  OK maybe not so because his deployments have never been quite so long or so frequent.  However, when he does leaves it seems everything breaks down and things stop working, kids get sick, etc. People use to tell me all the time, "watch, when he leaves something will break down, you will be tested."  I used to think, oh why must you all think so negatively, everything here is fine.

I was so naive!

They were not kidding.  Over the last 19 years it has never failed.  When he leaves something breaks down and I'm left to fix the issues.  So I do. I think the yellow pages were invented for military wives. Seriously, I go there often when he travels for an extended period of time. 

He left on Friday and the very next day I had a notice in my mailbox stating that I needed to power wash my house and change the chimney cap.  What the heck is a chimney cap? And by the way I was planning to power wash my house.... eventually. 

Just before he left, the day before, someone ran into his Harley and caused some damages.  Well since hubby is leaving and I'm not yet certified to drive a motorcycle I guess I'll have to call someone to help take care of that as well.

So I sat at the kitchen table to sort all this stuff out, make some calls, pay some bills, etc. and out of the blue I hear a loud pop and crash sound. I thought maybe a tree fell, it was windy.  So I looked around, no tree.  I step into my patio and I see my glass-top patio table has shattered into a million little pieces.  A million pieces I must clean ASAP!!  How the heck do you pickup all these little pieces of glass without loosing a finger?

I know, I know...sweep them up, wear gloves, etc.  I just don't want to do it.  What's the big deal?  The big deal is that I try to get organized and to keep things under control around here.  After all, I still have my school work, my job at the gym and 3 kids to keep up with.  Every minute counts. I don't want more stuff to do. Ugh!

However, I didn't stress about any of it.  I didn't go nuts. I just made a few more phone calls and things will workout...eventually.  It's not the end of the world right? 

Until this morning.  I get up super early so that I have quiet time to write, study, plan the day and sometimes just so I can watch my favorite shows on Hulu.com.  Today the internet was down.  I called and they said "we'll come by and take a look, how's tomorrow between 1:00 and 3:00 pm?'  I said "that's unacceptable, I need this fixed now otherwise I wouldn't be calling now!"  Yes I was agitated, I was angry that things seem to be going against me everyday.  It makes me want eat oreos and milk or go shopping!!

I was over the internet issue fairly quickly.  The glass company is coming to replace my glass-top table, the bike is in the shop, and I even found a handyman to take care of the power washing and chimney cap. 

Can I just tell you what kept me going?  OK I will.

Exercise! Yes.  Proven to help relieve stress, prevent anxiety, pain relief, improves mood and sleep.

I improved my fitness routine to add more cardio, I'm eating a little better, could really improve on that but I am a work in progress.  The point is that I did not change my routine much since he left and therefore whatever unexpected event comes at me is really not a big deal.  I handle what I can, I control what I can and the rest will take care of itself.

I'm in control of me, that's it.  My kids will never see me sweat the small stuff and I like it like that!!  However they will see me sweat because today is WiiFit day and I have a score to beat in the hula-hoop challenge!

Stay Well,

The power of a positive attitude

Photo by SpinDiva "Sunset on the Sound, OBX 2009"

You ever find yourself surrounded by negative people? 

At work.

At the grocery store.

At the gym.

Sometimes, even at home.

Yes.  We all face them and sometimes we just follow suit and fall into that negative rut that plagues so many.  

I'm a big believer in living as an optimist (with realism not to far behind).  I have asked the pessimists in my life why they always thing the worst of things or the worst  case scenario?  They respond with "this way I'm prepared for the worst and if something good happens then I'll be surprised." 

WOW.  That response has stuck with me because it is amazing that anyone can think like that.  I see their point though.  They are trying to avoid feeling disappointed.  But, what's wrong with a little disappointment?   Aren't those the hurdles we must strive to jump every once in a while?  

As an optimist I say everything will workout as it should or today is going to be a great day, regardless of how it started and it usually turns out that way.  I find myself smiling more, getting less stressed over traffic issues, silly people, etc.  However, when things don't workout, even after I've worked myself up to thinking they will, I use those moments as challenges to make things better.

There's a theory about stress first identified by Dr. Susan Kobasa (1979) called the Hardiness Theory of Stress. The theory has three basic principles: Commitment, Control and Challenge, also known as the three C's.  Possessing the three C's makes one hardy.

One who is hardy  will be committed to what they are doing, act as if they can control the outcome regardless of the changes, and use the change as a challenge to improve their life. Those people are considered hardy and have been known to #1 manage stress better then most, #2 avoid the health effects of stress, #3 live a happier life.

"When I go to bed at night I already know how my day is going to be the next day.  However, I have been known to oversleep, forget to turn on the alarm, the kids sleep right through their alarm, and I forgot to pack lunches the night before, etc.  OK so things have taken a turn and my plan to have a great day has been challenged.  Am I hardy enough to deal with this mess?

I'd like to think I am, most of the time.  I commit myself to what I know I can and must do NOW (get everyone up and ready to go).  I control the outcome of this event (everyone will get to school, eventually- it's not the end of the world). I use the challenges and be better prepared next time (pack lunches the night before, go to bed at a reasonable time).

No screaming, no anger, no fights.  Just taking the time to do what needs to be done because no matter what I do, I can't turn back time.  I can only work towards making this day a great day, regardless of the setbacks.

A few quotes to get you thinking:

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

~ Winston Churchill “To love what you do and feel that it matters how could anything be more fun?” ~ Katherine Graham “When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.” ~ Zig Ziglar My favorite is one I used to sing to the kids on the way to school -  So let the sunshine in Face it with a grin Smilers never loose and frowners never win So let the sunshine in Face it with a grin Open up your heart and let the sunshine in! Stay Well,

Is it stress or something else?

Image by Mike Moore

Have you ever felt fatigued without doing much, sweaty for no reason, mouth dries up; ever get chest pains, indigestion, peeing like crazy without drinking much; you feel like screaming at inanimate objects like the phone, the remote, the computer?  You may be experiencing the physiological effects of stress. 

Sometimes we don't even realize that our body is reacting to stress.  Case in point.  I'm supposed to be moving this month year, well sometime in 2009.  The thing is we have been waiting for Military Orders since March, so the threat to move has been on the table but until we get orders is not a good idea to move forward with things like selling our house, selling a vehicle, taking the kids out of school and investigating the new location, particularly if you don't know where that might be.  We missed a huge window of opportunity to sell our house over the summer, waiting for orders, very frustrating.

Finally, at the end of July we get our orders.  My husband, Mike, has to report at the end of September, he wants his family with him.  OH OK honey that's sweet but it's just not possible.  Don't get me wrong, I want to move with him just as bad but there is the issue of selling the house, selling a vehicle, and getting us all ready for travel.  Why?  Because we are going over seas or over one sea anyway.  We have orders to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (aka GTMO pronounced 'git-mo'.)  You know, that long island located 90 miles off the coast of Florida.  No we're not going to be living among the prisoners, believe it or not, the U.S. has had possession of "GTMO" since 1903 and no they are not closing the base, just to clarify.

So anyway, moving to Cuba will be an adventure.  We have plans to go sailing, scuba diving, snorkeling, travel to neighboring islands, etc. While the base is restricted to travel to the rest of Cuba, we can go anywhere from there so that's a big plus.  The move or location is not the stressor, we are looking forward to a new start, even my moody 15 year old girl is ready to go, couldn't be easier. 

So what's the problem.  Well everything than can go wrong or be delayed HAS.  From getting new GI passports to failed contracts on the house to getting physicals and updated shots for everyone in the family.  UGH... I could scream sometimes.  But I don't.  I keep it all inside, I write, I talk to friends each time telling them how it will be fine, no big deal, I have to wait for an appointment and even though its not my fault they want us ready yesterday some government agencies just look at me like it's not their problem when I need to be ready.  OK.  So I just do what I'm told and what I can within my reach.  I say I'm relaxing and coping with stress just fine.

That is, until a few days ago when I honestly felt like I was having a heart attack...ok maybe not that drastic but I did not feel well at all.  The first thing that popped into my mind was my friend's words a year before "you know, once you turn 40 everything starts to breakdown."  Well great, I'm forty something I guess I'm due for a breakdown; but I just had a physical what is going on with me.  Why do I feel so yucky?

I hit the Internet, WebMD and other medical diagnosis sites trying to figure out what all this meant. 

Here are my symptoms:

Dry mouth, stomach discomfort, headache, tired all the time, nausea, lightheaded, and pain under my ribs that spread to the back.

When you punch that in to a diagnosis site you get this:

Diabetes, Angina, heart attack, Anemia, and a host of other issues.

You know what that did to me? Stressed me out even more.  To the point that I called my doctor to ask about my blood work because I just know something is wrong.  I grabbed the diabetes diagnosis and went with it at least until I heard back from someone.  Yes I self diagnosed, stupid me.  I wondered how I would handle this diagnosis.  Both my parents are type II diabetics.  But I was concerned because what more could I do? Well, I guess I could give up a lot of the foods I still enjoy.  Ouch.  OK it's doable. I can do this.

Do you see what happens when we self diagnose.  Soon I got my results - "you are perfectly healthy, all is well with your blood work."  So then what's going on here I asked.  After a few pertinent questions about my symptoms the Nurse Practitioner responded with "You are most likely experiencing heartburn, take some antacid and if it doesn't get better, give us a call."  Are you kidding me, I thought I was at death's door, heartburn?  YES the antacid helped and some well needed sleep did wonders for me.

So what happened?  While I was talking myself out of being or acting like a maniac due to stress, my body had other ideas.  Physiologically, I had the symptoms of stress and I was ignoring them.  I ignored my symptoms long enough to get sick and actually feel it.  I have been sleeping poorly and getting mild headaches for weeks now but I took whatever over the counter stuff I needed to keep me going.  While I wasn't having a heart attack, we should never ignore the potential signs because seemingly healthy people can have a heart attack and not even know it.  It isn't always heartburn or stress.

In my case, it was heartburn and anxiety all brought on by stress.  I feel much better, took on a few extra classes at the gym and worked off some aggression :-) I put the focus back on the things I can control like my fitness, nutrition, the kids education, and our move date.  We will follow dad later in the year - preferably stress free.

The moral of the story here is NEVER ignore the symptoms of stress. Learn to treat, manage and cope with the stressors in your life and take time to heal when you become sick or injured.  It is counterproductive to cover up the pain and keep going because you will likely get worse, not better. 

It is also unwise to self-diagnose using the internet.  While this is a good way to get information about specific diseases and symptoms, it is best to consult with a professional to get clear diagnosis and care.

Take a few minutes in the quiet early morning hours to reflect on the day, get yourself mentally prepared and focus on taking care of you so that you are healthy enough to take care of the ones you love.

Stay Well,

SpinDiva

School is now in session

Photo from The Hot file

For many of us whose children attend school outside of the home (public or private) this is a time of year when we are rushing to get school supplies, school clothes & shoes, the new back pack and that really cool pencil pouch.  OK maybe not rushing, some people actually plan ahead and all this done early in the summer.  I'm not one of those people, I confess.  Stress and pressure are my friends.

While it is important to prepare all the material stuff needed, apparently, on the first day of school, we also have to focus on the child and making sure they are prepared mentally and physically.  

I have to digress here and say something about the school supplies. Really? She's in second grade, she needs all that paper to write on?  She better be working on a dissertation or some long physics problem to be using so much paper in one school year.  Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm shopping for others as well.  Don't get me wrong, that's cool, I don't mind donating school supplies, I just wish I was given the option and not feel pressured to buy and send in a 24 pack of pencils, several glue sticks, six composition notebooks, a two inch binder and 2 packs of loose leaf paper for my 2nd grade kid. Anyway, it seems I took off in a new direction for a moment.  

But as a parent we need to place to focus back on the child's health.  It is extremely important to discuss nutrition, sleep (seems teens need to stay up late and get up late which doesn't fit in with their current school schedule-oh shucks!), physical activity AND personal hygiene.  I don't mean their daily bath and brushing their teeth - that's a given or it should be anyway.  I mean the hand washing before eating, not drinking from other people's drinks and washing those grubby hands as soon as they walk in the door.  Kids touch everything.  Ugh!

About nutrition.  Boy in my house new habits have to be established.  Not because they eat poorly, I think in general my kids eat pretty healthy.  I don't really buy junk food.  I mean we usually have chips and salsa, crackers to eat with cheese or in soup and our fantastic neighbor might bring over her most delicious brownie (she hates me, I just know it!).  But none of these things are eaten in excess so I don't worry about it.  The new habit is getting up at the crack of dawn and eating a healthy breakfast before 6:30 in the morning.  

Photo by TowerGirl

Some ideas we like to share - 

Hot breakfast - oatmeal, cream of wheat, pancakes and waffles, eggs and toast.

Cold Breakfast - High fiber, whole grain cereal with low fat or no fat milk, yogurt with granola, fruit & yogurt, mini bagel with peanut butter, hard boiled egg

After school snacks - apple with peanut butter, cheese stick and green apples, hummus and vegetables, fruit or fruit smoothie

The biggest concern, however, might be lunch time.  Most or many kids bring lunch to school, some buy the school lunch and that's fine if they make the right choice. I was able to make them pack lunches until the first two hit high school years then it was just embarrassing to carry around a lunch bag. Well forgive me, mam/sir for wanting you to eat a good meal.  Appearances mean a lot more I guess. However, that's only one meal in the day and although they may not have too many "good" choices to make, they need to know how and why to choose healthier options.

Listen here, this is important stuff --

With the rate of childhood obesity growing in the United States, it is up to us parents to help kids make better choices in any situation, stay active and live a healthier lifestyle.  You can't expect one child to be on a diet while everyone else enjoys the goodies.  It's not happening and it's not fair to the child to be singled out.  So what do you do?

You (the entire family) should adopt new healthy eating habits because everyone should be eating healthy.  You limit sedentary time and go do something fun and active TOGETHER.  You encourage everyone to live healthier.  Yes, that includes you - the one that makes the meals, serves the meals and buys the groceries.

That's my rant on nutrition for now because I can go on for ever.  I hate to sound like we live this perfect life, like we never eat junk food or indulge in a most delicious ice cream or brownie cake.  Oh we do. Trust me on that.  We enjoy eating the food we like, but moderation must be taught and exercised, and as the parent I also encourage (enforce) portion control.  There's a time and place for everything.

So now the kids are going back to school, we're done shopping for supplies they probably wont ever use and clothes they'll outgrow by the fall and the shoes they'll wear out before Christmas.  Let's go shopping for the food they WILL consume at home and put your focus on those meals.  If they eat at school for lunch, again, it's one meal of many.  Think about it, the more you enforce healthy eating at home, the more likely they are to choose healthier meals at school.  But if they don't, again, one of many meals in the day.  

Stay Well,

 

crossposted at BlogHer